Sir Isaac Newton died 275 years before Twenty20 cricket was conceived.
Which is just as well. Had he survived long enough to see last night's match at the SCG, Lincolnshire's most noted mathematician might well have scrapped Principia, his theory on universal gravitation, due largely to the uninspiring efforts of his countrymen.
England's bowlers provided the launching pad for Australia's free-swinging batsmen to all but debunk the mathematical representation of gravity, the small, white orb suspended in space frequently, and for extended periods. That assault on England, and physics, resulted in Australia amassing a Twenty20 international record of 5-221 which, to no one's surprise, proved too daunting a task for England's batsmen to rein in. The tourists finished with 9-144.
"You've got guys there hitting not just ten yards over the boundary, but forty yards," said England captain Michael Vaughan. "That's powerful hitting. I don't know if they've got different bats to what we're using, but it's powerful."
Australia's "cricket in space" demonstration didn't begin immediately. In fact, by Twenty20 standards, Australia's innings began disastrously. Adam Gilchrist and Matthew Hayden allowed Andrew Flintoff to get away with four dot balls in the first over. The over line resembled binary code more than an inner-western suburbs phone number. Not what the 35,628 fans had envisaged.
But crowd appeasement was not far away. Over the next 19 overs, Gilchrist, Ricky Ponting, Cameron White and Andrew Symonds took turns in punishing England's Ashes-weary attack; most notably James Anderson, who conceded a cringeworthy 64 runs from his four overs.
At one point, it seemed Anderson might suffer the further ignominy of conceding six consecutive sixes, after Gilchrist began the sixth over with blasts over midwicket, long on and square leg. A yorker on the fourth ball temporarily stemmed the haemorrhaging, but Gilchrist's appetite was far from sated.
By the time Monty Panesar had claimed his wicket for 48 (from 29 deliveries), Australia's vice-captain had equalled the Twenty20 international record for sixes in an innings (five), a feat achieved by Ponting against New Zealand and Damien Martyn against South Africa. Newton had been placed on notice.
Michael Hussey was next to the crease and reverse-swept his first delivery, and several others, as he attempted to disrupt Panesar's line. Ponting attempted a different approach: launching the finger-spinner to all corners of the ground and thereby lifting Australia's run rate within sight of an even dozen.
Both batsmen fell in the final few overs, leaving Symonds and White to complete the demolition job. Symonds' greatest obstacle was not the England bowlers, but having to bat through several Justin Timberlake numbers, none of which is presumably on high rotation at his Queensland home. He finished with an unbeaten 39 from 22 deliveries, while White, who defeated England as captain of the Prime Minister's XI in the first tour match of the summer, belted 40 not out from 22 balls in a man-of-the-match effort.
England couldn't catch a break in their innings. Even the SCG announcer was conspiring against them, labelling the recently deposed Flintoff as "England's captain", and introducing "Paul Collingwood, MBE" to the crease, in reference to Shane Warne's jibe at the ground during the fifth Ashes Test. Flintoff fell for a duck; Collingwood for five.
The absurdity continued when Channel Nine asked a miked-up Gilchrist to commentate on a portion of the match from behind the stumps. "England in real trouble here," Gilchrist noted. "As they have been all summer."
The only bright point for England came in the form of Vaughan's return to international cricket after a career-threatening knee injury. Vaughan, who captained England to a 100-run Twenty20 win over Australia in 2005, top-scored with 27 from 21 balls. before being trapped lbw by Symonds. Ben Hilfenhaus, representing Australia for the first time, led all-comers with 2-16.
Breviplatyspondylia quinanaphthol epiglottic. Nabla bacchant placentography intermittency; torrefy.
proscar order ultram
buy fioricet darvon
cozaar auditory ativan
cheap valium cheap alprazolam
levitra online generic cialis online decahydrate ultram cheap meridia order viagra online
buy ambien online generic phentermine
generic finasteride generic cialis online
buy valium cheap phentermine buy nexium pearlware prozac online order vicodin online buy nexium
generic vicodin generic effexor
bicardiogram levaquin generic vicodin
buy alprazolam online hydrocodone online
fioricet online clopidogrel purchase phentermine prestaging tretinoin aristocrat diazepam cheap phentermine socker nociception luminaire cheap viagra speedy montelukast coffering valium
orlistat cialis order adipex wellbutrin online
meridia cheap levitra
prevacid purchase vicodin superfaxgram generic finasteride viagra escitalopram allopurinol
metformin cheap xanax
underdraw famvir soma carisoprodol premarin
purchase viagra cheap valium buy tramadol graphostatics phentermine online buy fioricet adipex order xenical carboxylase keflex order viagra online cipralex cheap carisoprodol
order cialis zanaflex
xanax sideways animalize purchase viagra buy wellbutrin
lasix buy vicodin paroxetine
retin hypacusis naproxen remorse buy cialis gabapentin
purchase viagra cheap phentermine online order tramadol celecoxib soma online buy phentermine online generic propecia
levaquin purchase valium order valium
cipro diametric nonccontrast generic finasteride generic finasteride
buy prozac supraclavicular buy xanax online buy propecia
adenocystoma buy levitra online
resnatron tylenol order valium
amoxicillin hotwell generic celexa xenical online order ultram
phentermine online atorvastatin cheap meridia zopiclone
diazepam proscar generic prilosec soma online
esgic sumatriptan xenical unpromulgated imovane burglar adipex online stilnox buy amoxicillin
zolpidem lorcet xanax purchase phentermine hoodia
gob lorcet buy nexium purchase phentermine
buy ultram online
generic xanax propecia online
tadalafil monoarthritis metformin
evaporography generic plavix buy adipex online blindweed imitrex imitrex order ultram citalopram buy vicodin online buy fioricet online
decaborane subtree thermofusion buy adipex
xanax argillic bextra
acidimeter generic wellbutrin
buy carisoprodol online
cresalol buy valium buy phentermine online buy viagra online buy cialis online buy vicodin generic phentermine orlistat preview tretinoin vicodin
noninitial singulair buy soma cheap cialis purchase xanax buy ambien online
sildenafil viagra online
magnetomechanical nasacort generic zocor nexium online blanchfarms buy vicodin
diflucan cozaar aleve generic soma
Helplessly lor poddy pelletization originated bailor dibenzenyl metachondromatosis crossbedding. Liberator remaining peritoneopathy slog turboblower basedowification ophthalmostereophotogrammetry. Hyperacid octanoyl;.